2013/12/22

Happy Hanukkah

Happy Hanukkah

Lonely Jew on Christmas:

It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas
My Friends won't let me join in any games..
And I can't sing Christmas songs
Or decorate a Christmas tree..
Or leave water out for Rudolph
'cause there's something wrong with me..
My people don't believe in Jesus Christ's divinity..
I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew.. on Christmas.

Hanukkah is nice, but why is it,
That Santa passes over my house every year?
And instead of eating Ham
I have to eat Kosher Latkes..
Instead of Silent Night
I'm singing hey-hach-dol-gavish..
And what the fuck is up
With lighting all these fucking Candles, tell me please?
I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew..
I'd be merry but i'm Hebrew on christmas

Hey Little Boy, I can't help but hear,
You're feeling left out of Christmas Cheer..
But i've come to see that you shouldn't be sad
This is the one month that you shoud be glad..

Because it's nice to be a Jew on Christmas
You don't have to deal with the season at all..
You don't have to be on your best behavior, or give to charity
You don't have to go to grandma's house with your alcoholic family..
And I don't have to sit on some fake Santa's lap
And have him breathe his stinky breath on me!
That's right! You're a Jew, a stylin' Jew..
It's a good time, to be Hebrew.. on Christmas.

Merry Fucking Christmas

Mr. Garrison: I heard there is no Christmas
In the silly Middle East
No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus
They have different religious beliefs

They believe in Muhammad
And not in our holiday
And so every December
I go to the Middle East and say...

"Hey there Mr. Muslim
Merry fucking Christmas
Put down that book the Koran
And hear some holiday wishes.

In case you haven't noticed
It's Jesus's birthday.
So get off your heathen Muslim ass
and fucking celebrate.

There is no holiday season in India I've heard
They don't hang up their stockings
And that is just absurd!

They've never read a Christmas story.
They don't know what Rudolph is about
And that is why in December
I'll go to India and shout...

Hey there Mr. Hinduist
Merry fucking Christmas
Drink eggnog and eat some beef
And pass it to the missus.

In case you haven't noticed

It's Jesus's birthday
So get off your heathen Hindu ass
and fucking celebrate!

Now I heard that in Japan
Everyone just lives in sin
They pray to several gods
And put needles in their skin.

On December 25th
All they do is eat a cake
And that is why I go to Japan
And walk around and say...

Hey there Mr. Shintoist
Merry fucking Christmas
God is going to kick your ass
You infidelic pagan scum.

In case you haven't noticed
There's festive things to do
So lets all rejoice for Jesus
And Merry fucking Christmas to you.

On Christmas day I travel `round the world and say,
Taoists, Krishnas, Buddhists, and all you atheists too,
Merry Fucking Christmas, To You!

(Clapping)

Thank you Mr. hat

延伸閱讀:

free counters

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Popular Posts (All Time)/滿堂紅

Popular Posts (7 Days)/七日紅