2010/09/29

[How To]從多倫多機場進城/From Toronto Pearson International Airport to Downtown

[How To]從多倫多機場進城/From Toronto Pearson International Airport to Downtown

The cheapest and probably the quickest way to get to the city from Toronto Pearson International Airport is by riding the Rocket, for the subway is not affected by traffic jam.


The Rocket is Torontonian nickname for Toronto Transit Commission (TTC).

The best place to get the ticket in the airport is at the Currency Exchange. When I was there, the price was C$2.50 per token. This price is even lower than ticket vending machines.



Then you want to follow this sign to the buses:

There are vending machines selling TTC tokens near the exit to the buses:
They are C$3 a piece, but these machines accept credit cards.

Here are the buses.
Chances are, you want to go to Kipling subway station. Once you are there, you are set. Kipling is the terminal station at the west end of Bloor line. You may take the train from either side of the platform, as both of them are east bound.

Upon boarding the bus, remember to ask the driver for a transfer. That allows you to transfer to other TTC vehicles within limited time and the same direction without stopping over.

At the ticket booth of the subway, you may purchase other type of tickets. You may also request a copy of TTC map for free, no purchase necessary:

A token costs C$2.50. A day pass C$10. During the weekend and holidays, two adults can share one day pass.

You may also download the map from here: [click me]

Welcome to TO, eh?

PS: If you enter the TTC system from a subway station, look for this kind of machine to obtain your transfer:


You are suppose to obtain your transfer when and where you pay your fare.

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Indigo vs Chapters/書店大車拼

Indigo vs Chapters/書店大車拼

About 10 years ago, two mega bookstores appeared in Canada. One is Chapters, the other Indigo. They were gigantic libraries that allow people to talk. They also came with built in coffee shop. Eventually, Indigo bought Chapters, for the later had expanded too quickly for their own good. Their stores still kept different names, but the website has changed to http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/

約十年前,加拿大出現兩家大型書店:Indigo跟Chapters它們像是可以在裡頭說話的圖書館,還內建咖啡廳。後來Chapters因為擴充太快,受不了庫存壓力,而被Indigo收購。實體書店仍保留原名,但網站統一為:http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/


因為名字不能意譯,所以我把Indigo譯作“硬的狗”。


曾經跟硬的狗打對臺,那理所當然該叫“軟的貓”了。

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惡搞冷笑話:武林外傳後人

惡搞冷笑話:武林外傳後人


經考證,發現武林外傳中的呂輕侯與燕小六的後人移民到了法國,雙雙以經營精品店而聞名天下,各以其先祖大名的縮寫為品牌。

燕小六:


燕小六的後人創立了YSL

燕小六漢語拼音的縮寫本是YXL, 但因燕小六本身就是文盲,而其後人也都不是讀書的料,不識漢語拼音,自己瞎拼。一旦拼錯,就此積非成是,將錯就錯地沿用了下來。

呂輕侯:


呂秀才的後人則創建了LV


呂氏後人強爺勝祖,還回國報效國家,參與漢語拼音的制定。因而“呂”字的漢語拼音就此成了LV。

延伸閱讀:
華爾茲溯源
三學

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Lunch: 2010/09/28

Lunch: 2010/09/28

Went to St. Laurence Market to get a live lobster and three pieces of marrow bone.


Followed the following instructions:

eHow: How to Boil Lobster:
  1. Fill a large stockpot with enough water to cover the lobsters, and bring to a boil over high heat.
  2. Salt the water lightly and add lemon juice.
  3. Put live lobsters headfirst into the boiling water. If you choose to kill them quickly before boiling, do this now (see Tips).
  4. Allow the water to boil again, and then turn the heat down to medium.
  5. Cover the pot and cook 5 minutes for the first pound and an additional 3 minutes for each additional pound. Like all shellfish, lobsters overcook almost instantly, so remove them from the water as soon as they're done.
  6. Remove the lobsters from the water and drain them on paper towels.
  7. To prepare the lobsters for the table, twist off each large claw, leaving the claw joints intact (there's a lot of meat in the joints). Crack the claw shell with a nutcracker or mallet.
  8. Hold the body of the cooked lobster with a clean kitchen towel (it should still be hot) and twist off the tails with your hands. Remove the tail meat by separating and removing the tail shell with your fingers.

Result:

Seared both ends of a piece of marrow bone before boiling:

After boiling the marrow bone and corn in the lobster broth:

As I scooped out the bone marrow with a tea spoon, there were beef fat leaking onto the plate. I sprinkled the fat with salt, and rolled corn on it.

Yum!

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2010/09/28

沒有國哪裏會有家?

沒有國哪裏會有家?

沒有家:


國家 詞曲:劉家昌


沒有國哪裏會有家,是千古流傳的話,
多少歷史的教訓證明失去國家多可怕。

炎黃子孫用血和汗, 把民族的根紮下,
多少烈士獻出生命, 培育出自由的花。
國家,國家,我愛的大中華,
四海之內的中國人永遠在青天白日下。

沒有國哪裏會有家,是萬世不變的話,
當你踏上別人的土地才知道更需要它。
在風雨中使我有信心, 就是我的國家,
苦難中把我撫養長大, 也是我的國家。
國家, 國家, 我愛的大中華。
四海之內的中國人永遠在青天白日下。

延伸閱讀:
把馬當人看
國民黨政府激發的逆向思考:永久屋

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Top Ten Lies/十大謊言

Top Ten Lies/十大謊言

  1. Classmate: I did not study. I have no idea how I got such a good mark.
  2. Guest Speaker: I will keep it short.
  3. Boss: I will never forget your contribution.
  4. Staff: I am quiting tomorrow.
  5. Merchant: Final day out of business sale!
  6. Star: We are just friends.
  7. Guy: It's alright. It's not going to hurt.
  8. Chick: This is my first time...
  9. Parents: I am saving this for you.
  10. Cougar: Handsome....

  1. 同學: 我沒唸啊,不知道為何考這麼高?
  2. 來賓:「大家好,我只簡單講兩句…」
  3. 老闆: 我不會忘記你的貢獻。
  4. 職員: 明天我就不幹了。
  5. 商人: 虧本大拍賣,只到今天!
  6. 明星: 我們只是朋友。
  7. 男孩: 乖,不會痛的。
  8. 女孩: 這是我的第一次。
  9. 父母: 我幫你把紅包存起來了。
  10. 歐巴桑: 帥哥..............

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轉載:所長茶葉蛋私密製法

所長茶葉蛋私密製法
出處:2010/09/28自由時報

新化警分局知義派出所的所長茶葉蛋將停產,所長廖世華提供製法,讓民眾可以在家DIY。材料為醬油、可樂以及中藥滷包。生雞蛋與滷包加水後,先以中火煮12小時,放入冰箱冷藏12小時,透過熱脹冷縮,增加茶葉蛋的口感;之後再滷製一次約12小時,最後置於小火的滷汁內保溫12小時,才算大功告成。廖世華說,每顆茶葉蛋前後製程達48小時,美味理所當然。 (記者吳俊鋒整理)

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原創冷笑話:最瞎、最雷的餐廳

原創冷笑話:最瞎、最雷的餐廳


維基百科


(其他寫法:)是網路上常見的網路用語,與該字通常的意思不同。
在中國大陸,雷字在網路上通常表示:「因為具有與眾不同,出人意料的特性而使人驚詫進而折服」的意思。雷的意思與更早一些的網路用語「暈」,「絕倒」,「faint」等比較相似,但是更強調驚詫的程度。雷的內涵與惡搞腦殘山寨等文化有密切關係。這類文化里的極品都可以被稱為雷。
在台灣,「雷」的意思比較簡單,一般指的是劇情透露(「捏他八雷」的簡稱)。


問:哪家餐廳最瞎、最雷?




答:Swiss Charlet

Swiss: 瞎、雷!
還不是普通的瞎、雷哦~是瑞士的精密瞎雷哦~

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2010/09/27

零北與藍友甲的對話

零北與藍友甲的對話


藍友甲:我想你應該還很想吃鹽酥雞 餃子 波霸奶茶吧? 哈哈哈 我好壞ㄛ

零北:現在的鹽酥雞沒有九層塔,不好吃啦!臺灣的九層塔被炒作到一株兩百塊了...

藍友甲:真假? 那要自己種九層塔了

零北:
鬱金香與九層塔
“扶老二博覽會”

藍友甲:笨蛋!我還以為九層塔真的漲價了。我這邊天空一片晴朗, 還不想重回綠地的懷抱。

零北:只問立場不問是非,當然不會想。XD

藍友甲:我從綠轉藍, 當然是只問是非不問立場!請問一下, 是誰一路不問是非的綠到底?

零北:九層塔是是非:那麼幹,可能對,可能不對。對或不對的討論,就是是非。藍綠是立場:我問九層塔,你答藍綠。你說是誰不問是非?

藍友甲:因為你的九層塔是暗喻丫, 我可是聽的懂的聰明人!你這樣藏在暗喻底下溜來溜去, 真不可愛!

零北:誰跟你暗了?我可沒隱瞞我的立場。我也自認是只認是非,不論立場。你有本事,用是非來說服我,我就會改變立場了。本來立場不同,還是能論是非。但是碰上只論立場不論是非的,就歹逗陣了。

藍友甲:你這話挺對的, 話不投機, 半句都都嫌多

零北:那也不一定。碰上只論立場不問是非的,才會那樣。一個講是非,一個論立場,是雞同鴨講;要是雙方都只論立場,那更是完全沒是非了。否則還是能 "Agree to disagree." 就像X博士萬磁王那樣

(完)

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把馬當人看

當人看

馬英九曰:「你既然來到我們的城市,就是我們的人,你既然來到台北,就是台北人,我把你當人看,我把你當市民看,要好好把你教育,提供機會給你,我覺得應該這樣子做,所以我覺得原住民的心態要從那個地方調整:我來到這個地方,我就要照這個地方的遊戲規則來玩。



邈雲漢曰:「你既然來到我們的城市國家,就是我們的人,你既然來到台北臺灣,就是台北臺灣人,我把你當人看,我把你當民看,要好好把你教育,提供機會給你,我覺得應該這樣子做,所以我覺得原住民外省人的心態要從那個地方調整:我來到這個地方,我就要照這個地方的遊戲規則來玩。」

虧他還好意思說出“住民”三字。到底是誰來到誰的地方?誰該照誰的規則來玩?不讓原住民回家,是名副其實的乞丐趕廟公。

為了加強惡搞效果,突顯馬膺九的荒謬,必需嚴格遵循馬囧的言論格式,所以用了“外省人”三字。其實不管是在深圳還是香港出生,在“中國人”裡,他都算是個“堂堂正正”的中國人。在此澄清,並同時向認同臺灣的新臺灣人致歉。如果您還是覺得有被冒犯的感覺,那您總算體會到一點那些正港臺灣人的心情了。

延伸閱讀:
懷舊風眷村家常菜餐廳-陸光小館被砸
臺語歌大車拼:上海小姑娘 vs 臺灣大總統
臺語大亂鬥:蘭大衛 vs 馬膺九
「高級」「外」人大亂鬥:蘭大弼 vs GGY
國民黨政府激發的逆向思考:永久屋
Man of la Mancha (I, Don Quixote): 從俠到瞎

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您想當人,還是被當人看?

當人:


被當人看:


您想當人,還是被當人看?

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2010/09/24

另類民主:徐蚌會戰 vs 淮海戰役

昨晚在電視上看到國民黨軍隊將領回想當年徐蚌會戰的慘狀。說草根、樹皮都吃光了,連皮帶都煮來吃。

徐蚌會戰,中國共產黨稱為淮海戰役。

這讓我想起中國中央電視臺講述淮海戰役。共軍將領回想當年,百姓們自發地送糧食、資源給紅軍。

獨裁是另類的民主。人民是永遠的主人。差別在如何實行而已。

凡有所相,都逃不出「成、住、壞、空」的循環。沒有一個政權可以永遠當權。由哪個政權當權,都是由人民決定。差別在「數人頭」跟「砍人頭」。不想數人頭的當權者,或許可以蹲久一點,但是他的政權遲早會被砍人頭。

延伸閱讀:

Since May 7, 2010:
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Star Wreck

Star Wreck

Star Wreck is a parody done by some Finnish geeks by crossing Star Trek and Babylon 5, including Crusade. It is hilarious. I love it.

Star Wreck - In The Pirkinning Trailer


The first 30 minutes or so is a bit slow. Once you sit through the beginning, it begin to rock. The movie is available for download from the Internet, legally under a Creative Commons license. You can also purchase its from Amazon.com. According to their website, there are additional scenes in the DVD.



Full Length Movie


Also available:


The title "In The Pirkinning" is obviously mocking Babylon 5-In the Beginning.



Crusade




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Timbits

Timbits

Timbits mentioned starting 03:50:


In Talking to Americans, Rick Mercer was asking what the people thought we should do about the buffalo taking over Vancouver. He said the ususal way to get rid of them was to pummel them with timbits.

This is a timbit sitting between a Sour Cream Glazed and a cup of coffee:

It is a mini donut from Tim Hortons.

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TIFF 2010

TIFF 2010

TIFF-Toronto International Film Festival

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2010/09/23

轉載:前面青山綠更多

轉載:前面青山綠更多

清代咸豐年間,江南一小鎮上有一家酒店,一貫不守誠信,常在酒中摻水欺騙顧客,賺取黑心錢。一日清晨剛開店門,有一客人提個“嘟嚕壺”來沽酒。老板娘看夥計剛開始打掃店堂,心想恐怕還沒來得及往酒中摻水呢。但顧客已進門,不便直說,就用暗語問了一句:

君子之交淡若何?

店夥計一聽,心領神會,也用暗語笑道:

北方壬癸已調和。

不料這買酒人乃是一位秀才。一聽這兩人說的“黑話”,情知遇上了假冒偽劣的黑店,氣呼呼轉身就走。到門口,又回頭頂了一句:

有錢不買金生麗

老板娘一驚,原來此人聽懂了我們的暗語了。急忙追出門,對著秀才背影大聲說:

前面青山綠更多

秀才頭也不回,揚長而去。行到小鎮盡頭處,忽有一陣酒香撲鼻而來。擡頭一看,又是一家酒店。秀才見顧客川流不息,便進門在一桌旁坐下,要了一壺酒,一碟菜,慢慢品嘗。果然這酒濃冽香甜,連贊“好酒”!便將剛才在另一家酒店之見聞事說與眾人。店主人聽說他是位秀才,忙將早備好的一塊布簾取出請秀才寫個店招。秀才欣然應允,大筆一揮,在酒簾上寫了一首詩:

一輪明月掛半天,才子淑女並蒂蓮。

碧波池畔酉時會,默讀情書不用言。

寫畢,讓店家掛在門口。眾人紛紛圍觀,其中有不少讀書人解出了詩意,十分贊賞,都說這是一個絕好的招牌。從此,這家酒店生意更加興隆,而前述的那家黑店卻門庭冷落,不得不關門“大吉”了。

邈雲漢注:

君子之交淡如水
北方屬壬癸、屬水
千字文金生麗水
青山綠水

一輪明月掛半天:有
才子淑女並蒂蓮:好
碧波池畔酉時會:酒
默讀情書不用言:賣

延伸閱讀:
八風吹不動,一屁打過江

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惡搞:吳淡如考

惡搞:吳淡如考


初聞吳淡如大名,覺得奇怪:吾蛋如?我就像蛋一樣?
後來仔細一想,原來是:“人淡如”、“吾淡如菊”...



您覺得樹還樹不樹呀?

齊豫-菊嘆:


延伸閱讀:
馬膺九考:阿告!告恁祖嬤!

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Chris Issac

Chris Issac

As I wrote about the movie Little Buddha, I recognized the actor playing the father is Chris Issac.

剛剛提到電影小活佛,認出小活佛的爸爸的角色是Chris Issac演的。

Blue Spanish Sky

It's a big blue spanish sky,
Lay on my back and watch clouds roll by.
I've got the time to wonder why,
She left me.

It's a slow sad spanish song,
I knew the words but I sang them wrong.
The one I love has left and gone,
Without me.

Now she's gone, our world has changed.
Watching a blue sky, thinking of rain.

It's a slow sad spanish song,
I knew the words but I sang them wrong.
The one that I love has left and gone,
Without me.

It's a big blue spanish sky,
I Lay on my back and watch clouds roll by.
I only wish I could make you cry,
Like I do.
Like I do.
Like I do.

Wicked Game


The world was on fire
No one could save me but you.
Strange what desire will make foolish people do
I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you
And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you

No, I don't want to fall in love
[This love is only gonna break your heart]
No, I don't want to fall in love
[This love is only gonna break your heart]
With you
With you

What a wicked game you play
To make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do
To let me dream of you
What a wicked thing to say
You never felt this way
What a wicked thing to do
To make me dream of you
v And I don't wanna fall in love
[This love is only gonna break your heart]
And I don't want to fall in love
[This love is only gonna break your heart]

{World was on fire
No one could save me but you
Strange what desire will make foolish people do
I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you
I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you

No I don't wanna fall in love
[This love is only gonna break your heart
No I don't wanna fall in love
[This love is only gonna break your heart]
With you
With you

Nobody loves no one



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Cumberland Four

Cumberland Four

2010/09/21:

It is a cinema in Yorkville, Toronto. Sixteen years ago, I saw Little Buddha and Trois Couleurs: Blanc here.

At the end of The Little Buddha, after credits, there was this scene of a hand destroying a sand painting. That scene signifies the uncertainty of existence. It was cut short by the theatre. A fellow audience, who was watching the movie for the second time, supported me to complain to the theatre management, and I got a free pass.

這是多倫多的一家電影院。十六年前,我在這裡觀賞了小活佛三色:白

Little Buddha/小活佛:



Trois Couleurs: Blanc/三色:白:



在小活佛的片尾,字幕後,還有一幕是一支手擦壞一幅精緻的沙畫以示範無常。那一幕被戲院切了一半。有位看第二遍的觀眾支持我跟戲院投訴。我因而拿到一張免費電影票。



In Little Buddha, at the funeral of a monk, I recognized the chanting was Heart Sutra. The final part of Heart Sutra is identical in all translations in pronunciation.

小活佛裡,在一位喇嘛的葬禮上,我認得他們誦的是般若波羅密多心經。不論是哪種文字的翻譯,最後的般若波羅密多咒的發音都相同。

般若波羅密多心經-唐三藏法師玄奘譯

觀自在菩薩,行深般若波羅密多時,照見五蘊皆空,度一切苦厄。舍利子!
色不異空,空不異色,色即是空,空即是色;受想行識,亦復如是。
舍利子!是諸法空相:不生不滅,不垢不淨,不增不減。
是故空中無色,無受想行識。無眼耳鼻舌身意;無色聲香味觸法。
無眼界,乃至無意識界。無無明,亦無無明盡;乃至無老死,亦無老死盡。
無苦集滅道。無智,亦無得。以無所得故!
菩提薩埵,依般若波羅密多故,心無罣礙,無罣礙故,無有恐怖,遠離顛倒、夢想,究竟涅槃。
三世諸佛,依般若波羅密多故,得阿耨多羅三藐三菩提!
故知般若波羅密多,是大神咒,是大明咒,是無上咒,是無等等咒。
能除一切苦!真實不虛!故說般若波羅密多咒,即說咒曰:
揭諦,揭諦,波羅揭諦,波羅僧揭諦,菩提娑婆訶!

Related Article/延伸閱讀:
Van Den Budenmayer - La Double Vie de Veronique

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轉載:于美人的冷笑話

在新聞挖挖哇裡聽于美人講的:

于美人:哪一個英文字母最會下跪?


鄭弘儀:不知道。


于:D


鄭:為什麼?


于:因為豬血糕(D會跪)

結束跪拜狀態站起來:


邈雲漢曰:會跪的,果然是D。零北知道有個神棍就是這副德行。


于:John的媽媽是誰?

鄭:不知道。

于:John的媽媽是「花」。因為「花生醬」。

于:那John的爸爸是誰?

鄭:不知道。

于:是「海」。因為「海上花」。

鄭怡 - 海上花


「彷彿像水面上泡沫的暫光亮:是我的『醫生』…」

邈雲漢曰:

搞清楚哦!是醫生哦!不是小護士哦!

Since 24/02/10:
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2010/09/22

Toronto: CN Tower

Toronto: CN Tower

2010/09/20:

On CN Tower: The Frantics - Boot to the Head - 8. Architecture Today:




2010/09/21:

Related Article/延伸閱讀:
Boot to the Head (Tae Kwon Leap)
From Moon to Sun/從月到日
Moon River/月河

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