2009/11/23

Close Shave in Prague/有驚無險布拉格

有驚無險布拉格:2009年11月23日刊載於自由時報

When I visited Czech Republic, I had the luck of running into World Bank Summit. Hotels in Prague was flooded by attedants and protestors. It took me quite some effort to find a bed. In the lobby of the hotel, there were local business cards. One of them read "Relaxation... Turkish bath, massage"

I thought that place was a SPA. So I hiked across the city after walking the city the whole day, and a concert. At the gate, there was a security searching everyone with a metal detector. In the hall, a super model like hottie greeted me. She was going to show me their facilities.

The first stop was a lounge with strip tease. (hmm... this is Europe. Folks have a very open altitude on this aspect...)

The second stop was steam bath and massage tables. (Now we are talking.)

The third stop was lockers for valualbes (How thoughtful.)

Finally... A small room filled with a king sieze bed! She said this would be my room after I made my selection in the lounge.

Crap. I was still an over aged virgin then. In addition, I was dead tired after hiking around the city the whole day.

"This is not what I expected." The lady's expression turned stern. "What were you expecting?" "I thought this was a spot that I could take a bath, and perhaps also massage." The lady became ever so tense, and led me to the manager. At the entrance, the manager was surrounded by a bunch of super models. My hostess was speaking in Czech, which I knew only how to say "thank you" then. Everyone listened with very straight faces. After her report, the manager turned to me, waved his right index finger, and said "No! No! No! This is all about sex. Come back, when you are ready." At the drop of his voice, everyone burst out laughting, including myself. That was my exit cue.

2000年,頭一回到捷克,剛好碰上世銀峰會。與會人士跟示威人士幾乎把市內的旅店全擠爆了。我花了好大一番工夫才找到落腳處。旅社大廳放了不少市內商家的名片。其中有一張寫著「土耳其浴、按摩、放鬆…」

以為名片上那地方是個SPA,城裡走一整天,聽完音樂會後,我就過去了。還沒進門,在大門口,就看到警衛拿金屬探測器搜客人的身。進了門,迎接我的是個超模般的辣妹,說要先為我介紹他們的設施。

首先是大廳,有美女跳鋼管舞(歐洲比較開放,這大概是正常的);

再來是土耳其浴室、按摩間(恩,等一下可以輕鬆一下了);

然後是置物櫃可以保管我的貴重物品(真周到);

最後…是張大床。美女說,這是給我用的房間,我呆會兒先去大廳挑一個然後這個小天地就是我的了。

開玩笑!我那時還是個超齡處男呢!而且走了整天路,早累趴了。我說:「這跟我想的不一樣。」美女的臉垮了,問:「怎麼不一樣?你想的是啥?」我說我以為是個SPA,是可以洗澡、按摩、放鬆、休息的地方。美女,臉色鐵青,領著我回前臺見老大。

老大身旁圍著一群鶯鶯燕燕。美女跟老大說了一串我聽不懂的捷克語,老大跟其他人面色凝重地聽著。等美女說完,老大轉頭向我說:「不!不!不!這裡都是性交易。等你準備好了以後再回來吧?」話聲未落,鶯鶯燕燕們早都笑得花枝亂顫。我也跟著傻笑著揮了揮衣袖。


照片中的傳單是我2006年再次路過布拉格時拿的,多寫了「美眉、美眉」跟「伴遊服務」。不知那多出來的說明跟當年的我有沒有關係?

I picked up this brochure on my second visit to the city of Prague in 2006. This time, there were two lines more: "Girls, Girls..." and "Escort Service".

I wonder if I have any thing to do with that revision.





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2 comments:

  1. Dude, you should go there and take that service the second time you were there, not ready yet? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am still not ready. I believe love needs to be fallen into before it can be made.

    ReplyDelete

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